| < 'SUNSHINE > | FOUNDATION DATABASE FILE

[Ray]

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// Any feedback on the writing would be much loved <3 Still needs work and the Backstory feels clunky but that shall be worked on at another date

 

[Ray]

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[strombolio]

// I'm a big fan of the character concept, the tasteful usage of redaction in this is also very nice. A bit of constructive criticism is that the backstory has a few spots where longer sentences could be broken up and bits where grammar could be touched up on. A few line-breaks could make it easier to read as well. I recommend aligning the text with justify so that it looks cleaner on the page, however that is entirely up to you depending on how you want to style things.

A cool addition might be to have a section for 'Sunshine's research projects that can link to those documents (or her personal notes on said projects) to add some more personality and make things feel more unique to your character. Excellent work on the doc so far regardless!

 

[Ray]

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RELATIONS SECTION UPDATED, NEW ADDITIONS.

// I think I got some of the people Sunshine met, I am forgetting people I know If ya feel like you should be added, do tell :>

 

[Kylo]

// I've made the Sunshine list

 

[Brotheforge]

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RELATIONS SECTION UPDATED, NEW ADDITIONS.

// I think I got some of the people Sunshine met, I am forgetting people I know If ya feel like you should be added, do tell :>

// I'm waiting to see mine